by Ms Amanda Jones
Times are tough so I think it’s fair to assume that mostly everyone I know rents a home or apartment in Los Angeles. I know I do! It’s part of living in the city if you will, and to quote Lee Ving from Fear, “I LOVE LIVIN IN THE CITY!”
With that being said something happened to me recently that made me think, hot damn, I’ve got to write about this!!! You see…I moved. From one nice, albeit small, home in Glassell Park to a larger and more spacious home in beautiful Los Angeles. I really did like the old place but there comes a time, and it’s usually when you notice everyone in your home hates everyone else by the end of the weekend – that you have to move. So we moved. There are lots of incidentals to this story that will bore most of you so I’ll just skip to the meat of it: I got screwed out of my security deposit.
Normally, this would annoy someone, vex them for a few days and then they would be over it. Chalk it up to a learning experience. NOT ME. I’m a Taurus and I’m currently out for blood. The landlords seemed like such nice people. Then they started to hem and haw and pause and wait and not get back to me…over and over again. They told us we were their friends and that we needed to keep in touch. We responded by showing up twice after we moved to help take out the trash we left behind – so they wouldn’t be stuck lugging out our leftovers. This was the kind thing to do. Then we stopped by again, in person, to see if they needed anything else and could we please get our deposit back. They responded by saying – sure they just needed to do a couple of things – then they’d be happy to get it to us. They even went so far as to say, if in the interim we needed money just to LET THEM KNOW and they would right us a check on the spot! Wow – they are SO NICE!!! So weeks passed and passed and suddenly – everything changed. Poof – $1000 gone! Apparently they had to repair so many things!!! So this is my wake up call to all of you….on what to do when you rent in a town where money is going the way of the Dodo bird!!
1. Your landlords are not your friends. No matter how nice they seem! They are there to collect a check and hopefully repair crap when it breaks. Don’t befriend these people. Just don’t do it! This is mostly a reminder to myself – I think everyone is my friend.
***NOTE: There is always an exception – my Pasadena landlords were awesome – and I partly blame them for this predicament (sorry Sunday and Louis).
2. Document everything when you move in and take pictures! Even things that don’t seem important- like the fact that the carpets are a little worn. One day they may make you pay for new ones – so note it somewhere and make them sign it!
Better yet – take pictures of what you see! This way, when they tell you that your dog pissed on everything and that’s why they need to replace this crap – you can say, “But look – these looked like shit when I moved in”!
3. Ask Questions. For instance, “Can I hang up pictures on these walls”? Or, can I paint on the walls? Can I pretty much do anything in here or do I need permission first? Sometimes what you may think is making your place your own is actually what they call, destroying our property and now we have to bill you for this! If you are unsure of what you can and cannot do – ask them before you move in! This way when they tell you that they had to repair all the holes you left in their walls, you can exclaim, “BUT YOU SAID I COULD PUT UP PICTURES OF MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER”!!!!
4. When you decide to move out – give them ample warning. Meaning, you need 30 days of written warning that states you plan on vacating the premises. If you don’t give them this you could be forced to pay an entire month of rent until they can bring in new renters! Now – I felt so bad about telling my former landlords that I was moving – that I gave two months warning. I thought this is the decent thing to do – and I lost my deposit anyway!
5. Patch up those “HOLES”. It’s called cocking people…say it with me!!! I actually don’t know what it’s called!? But someone at a hardware store will know – and they actually care about you enough to help you out…so just ask! Cock that hole and paint it over!!! Then you won’t be charged $150 to repair all the “holes you made” in your former residence.
*** NOTE: I’ve been informed its spelled caulking. What-ever- take heed readers, caulk it – caulk that hole people!!
6. Clean the place up before you leave. It’s pretty simple to grab some 409 and paper towels and go over everything. I did. That didn’t stop them from charging me a fucking cleaning fee – but whatever. I also vacuumed but apparently you need to go and buy yourself a Dyson for it to be clean enough – wtf.!!??
7. Take a look around and then take another look around….did you miss anything?
8. Lastly – Take Pictures!!!! Take lots and lots of pictures. Remember how I told you to take them when you moved in – well now take them again. So when they try telling you that you trashed the place before you left….you can say – but look at my lovely reprints!!! I’ve made several copies for you!
Oh and make sure you have a time stamp on your camera….It’s better to be safe then sorry.
I know I seem like a bitter person that just lost $1000 and that’s because I am. But I care about you, renters of Los Angeles and now that my face has been rubbed in the friendship of my former landlords I want to make sure all of you are taken care of. Because honestly, if all of the things I’ve just pointed out can’t help you – there’s a nice judge in downtown Los Angeles’ small claims court that just might! I’m not the suing type – but I encourage all of you to do whatever makes you happy!!
Cheers from my new home and if you ever need anyone to help you start or finish a fight – I’m your girl! XOX.
