Every summer should have a focus. Some of us surf, go on holiday, catch various concerts rolling through town, engage in exercise as the weather begins to warm – and then there is me and the girls like me: the boy crazy girls that await the prospect of a summer crush – we wait for the boys of summer.
The boys of summer are those men you meet in the most random of encounters. At a gig that your friend is playing, in the park, at the grocery store, at a summer party where everyone is a little sweaty-a little tipsy, they are all around you and everywhere you look. Those boys make every summer something to look forward to. They make the chance meetings at a random bar even more interesting. They turn summer parties into a chance for romance and late night chat session with your girlfriends.
These days I am older and the boys of summer seem a little further away. They are still around, still catching the corner of my eye as they walk past, but now that my boy of summer has turned into the man I live with I don’t get to play like I once did. Now I get to listen with much enjoyment to all of my girlfriends and the boys they meet. They aren’t boys – although many are what I refer to as man/boys, not quite a MAN but still not a boy – they are the Peter Pans with loud guitars…What?! We are around musicians A LOT!
So now I am the faithful observer. Watching the games play out around me. But it seems that even that is changing. A lot of my girlfriends are single – or on their way to becoming single. I think about this often. How is it that my parents generation – or even some of my aunts and cousins all fell into marriages? A nice setting of husband and wife. Yet there are the rest of us – not ready to engage into the plunge of Mr and Mrs. Nor are we of the opinion that this is important anymore. So the question is: How did we come to this? Did the boys of summer change us? Did the chance for fun become a lot more fulfilling than the option of a wedding and a husband?
My girlfriends and I are all technically single. Not every last one of us, but a majority of us. When I say single – I mean not married. Several of us have boyfriends or boys we date semi-exclusively – but none of us (again with the exception of a few) are betrothed or married to another. We talk about men, about people we’ve dated. We trade horror stories of what went wrong and why it didn’t work out but the under the surface theme is none of us are hell bent on becoming a wife. It just isn’t a priority anymore. Of course I’m speaking about the few girls I know really well. I’m sure some of the girls I know do really want the white picket fence, a husband and baby, but if they do it’s not something they’ve ever discussed with me. The thing I find so interesting about this is how it occurred? When did we all sway so far away from happily ever after that we ended up being the girl looking for the boy for the summer?
I think it comes down to a couple of things. Get ready – this is a big shocker – but the times, they just changed. And I think they changed when none of us were looking!? We come from a generation of divorces and failed marriages. So did somewhere way down deep inside we figure out that maybe the whole thing about marriage is outdated? In a time when our state is fighting for the rights of gay people to be able to engage in marriage to whomever they choose – there are a whole other group of us that just don’t care anymore. I write that and I even wonder if it’s true? Do I not care about being Mrs. Rollins any more? I mean, I still love Henry, but now I think to myself, living in sin can’t be all that bad! I know it’s definitely less paperwork. You see, I was married once. I got divorced and boy did it take a long time to fill out all the right paperwork to get it undone. AND it was expensive. No one ever tells you that that wedding is going to cost a ton to get out of.
But there it is. Marriage, just isn’t that important anymore. Ok….Ok….maybe it’s just me. I can easily say that sometimes what I think is not necessarily what anyone else thinks. I prefer to remain a little quirky. I will tell you this – the boys of summer and all the fun that comes along with them are what makes being young and figuring all this out worth it.
For myself and my quirkiness, I do know what means the most to me summer after summer. It’s the Pacific Ocean, hanging out with my family & friends, margaritas, tequila shots and the chance to have a crush on a boy for the summer. My boys of summer may be only in my mind but a little crush never hurt anyone – and it sure makes summer fun.
So ladies get ready – because summer and the boys are ready when you are.
*A quick note: A boy for the summer does not have to equal a young man – it’s whatever floats your boat ladies. Lori – that’s just for you…muah.