This was the closing line to a message that a guy friend named “Seth” (name has been changed) in high school had penned to me in one of my high school yearbooks. I think I had at least one class with this guy each year. Chemistry was one of them.
See? Nothing to that statement.
It’s always interesting to see how differently not only guys and girls but different types of people altogether process information and what comes out as a result.
A few weekends ago I went to a wedding with an ex-boyfriend, and so I don’t have to call him “the ex” let’s use his middle name, Andrew. I will rarely if ever, disclose much about my personal life and relationships as I like my privacy and it’s not everyone’s business. Writing about places I go, things I’m involved in, or past and current adventures with friends is fine but the rest is pretty much off limits.
However, since this relationship is in the past, the relationship ended amicably, and he is ok with this I’ll share since I think people can relate
After deciding that we’d go together to this wedding, (most of the people who were to be at this wedding were previously mutual friends) I reluctantly agreed to drive there together as well. We spent most of the drive to the wedding location filling each other in on what we’re currently up to, about who we still talk to, and laughing at the people who thought we were back together just because we were going to this wedding together. Although, I don’t keep my ex-boyfriends around in my daily life we are all still on good terms. So if I run into any of them ever (which never happens) it’s fine, I don’t date jerks. As with any old friend, the conversation turned reminiscent.
When we were together, Andrew had a friend who was in a relationship with a super jealous girl where they seemed to be arguing or about to start arguing anytime we saw them. We had to be around this a lot as my then boyfriend and his friend were involved in a project together and this situation was a constant issue for everyone involved. Everyone was sick of it. This girl seemed to be convinced that every girl was after her boyfriend, which was really NOT the case. I’m sure you know the type.
Anyhow, I had inquired about his friend and if he still talked to him and talking about them made us go back to us and the subject of fighting/arguing. We actually rarely argued, so it took us a minute or two to actually remember our own biggest fight. We both started laughing once we remembered it at almost the same time. It was that simple statement, “We’ll always have Chemistry,” that caused the argument by being so hugely misconstrued.
There are numerous other messages in the yearbook, that a boyfriend might’ve or should’ve been more concerned with, yet he was fixated on that one. He asked who Seth was, and I responded by saying something like “Oh he was this guy I had a bunch of classes with…totally super smart sweet guy,” and continued on to say, “Junior year we had a math class together, and he made this comic book of me and three other girls [I think I still have this at my parent's home somewhere with all of the yearbooks and old photos] that were in the same math groups all of the time. It was so funny [and it was funny!].”
In retrospect I guess a boyfriend never really wants to hear you talk about how sweet or nice or funny another guy is, even if the guy you are referring to might as well be a puppy or pony since you’d probably describe them all similarly. I probably should’ve stopped at “He was this guy I had a bunch of classes with.”
The comic book was funny, we were all amused by it in high school and I really hope Seth went on to do something creative with his life. Andrew was not amused. He asked if this was the same Seth that I still talked to all the time. I told him no, that I actually hadn’t seen Seth since about a year after graduating high school (so much for the K.I.T). After answering that question, I thought we were done with that conversation.
Boy, was I wrong.
Long story short, we went out to meet up with some friends and Andrew spent the whole night making snide remarks. His birthday was coming up and friends were asking what the plans were and he responded, “I don’t know, maybe Siria will think of something [I already had, just he didn’t know!], or maybe she’ll ask someone to make a comic book for me…Oh wait no, she wants me to make the comic book for her.”
If looks could kill, he would’ve been a heap of ashes, I was completely caught off guard and indignantly (I’m good at being indignant sometimes) responded with “I NEVER asked for a comic book.”
Everyone else was confused.
As far as they knew neither of us was into comic books. We never fought, and more importantly we never fought in public. People were trying to change the subject, but Andrew wouldn’t let it rest. He asked everyone “Oh hasn’t she told you about the comic book some guy made for her that she’s in?”
Everyone looked at me, like it was a sex tape or something, so I quickly explained that “It was in high school, and it was a funny, silly comic book that had three other girls in it, not just me.”
Poor Seth, I’m sure he never would’ve imagined his innocent comic book would cause such an issue years down the line. Relief seemed to wash over everyone’s faces and they left it at that, but Andrew was still fuming.
I was done with this stupid pointless conversation.
I decided to leave shortly after this with one of the other girls, but of course Andrew wouldn’t have this as he wasn’t done. We ended up arguing for about a good hour in the car while still in the parking lot and finally it ended with us both just laughing at how incredibly stupid it all was. That was probably one of our bigger fights, I don’t mean length wise as once we were closer to breaking up we had some where we didn’t speak to each other for a couple of days, but I mean intensity wise. We never talked about Seth or that comic book ever again, until this past weekend, where Andrew finally admitted how he’d made such a big deal out of nothing.
Andrew tried to explain the reason behind the blowup, he said “No guy ever wants to feel like he’s competing with other guys for his girlfriend, maybe before she’s your girlfriend its okay… you kind of expect it, but not once you are going out. No matter how much we like competition. If there is competition we want to be aware of it. It’s the competition you don’t know about that you have to worry about. We know we can’t be with you 24/7 and sure, we’re fine with other guys thinking our girlfriend is hot, but we want them to also know that she is our girlfriend, so hands off and no more comic books or whatever.”
I may not have documented that word by word, as it kind of went on and on, but it is for that statement alone that I chose to write about this. To me Andrew had nothing to feel threatened about with Seth, but to Andrew it wasn’t really about Seth, more the idea of Seth and the other Seths out there that he didn’t know about. In the end that argument didn’t really affect our relationship too much in the long run as there was common trust, but had he at the time of the argument said this statement instead of acting childish about a silly statement and a comic book, I would’ve understood, but no that would’ve been far too simple right?
Now for those of you who grew up on romantic movie endings, no we are not getting back together and the next wedding will not be ours. We make better friends than anything else at this point in our lives.
So now I guess, “We’ll Always Have This Documented..”