THE GIRLS OF SUMMER…
Summer Time Fun – now – Let’s just go over the Rules Again!
It’s been way too long since I’ve written, but so many days in summer – so little time. I’ve kind of been enjoying the days a little more than I should, but still there are things to be noticed, things to be shared. I’ve kind of enjoyed sitting back and watching the summer unfold for once. The only part of summer that I’ve really recognized as per usual, is the eternal interacting between the boys and girls again. Remember the boys of summer? Well the fantastic part of the boys of summer is that it turns out there are some girls of summer as well. I’ve been surrounded by them! It’s awesome. Finally – the battle of the sexes has been defeated and all is fair in love and war once again.
I’ll re-cap the “Boy of Summer” for you. It’s the guy, (or guys, let’s not be shy) that capture your attention for a few months in the summer time. Sometimes it’s love – sometimes it’s not – ok – most times it’s not but it’s always hilariously fun and has endless possibilities. You know – until it doesn’t and then everyone gets to go home to start planning…whatever, Thanksgiving? The point is – every summer should have one. Even if it’s an innocent flirtation that goes nowhere and just stays in your day dreams or your drunken text messages, the point is it’s FUN!
Well, as it would turn out there’s “Girls of Summer” too!? Who would have thought? The reason I know this is because I’ve been around a bunch of these “girls” this summer. The only little difference is that there are more rules for the girls than there are for the boys. Not rules – not like – What’s that, Miss Manners-name? No – No – No. It’s a little different. There’s a playbook that if you want to be a good girl of summer you have to follow. I believe I’ll get crucified for spilling the beans – but I’m going to do it anyway. I have nothing to lose and summer is almost over.
So the way it works is this, the more men you flirt with the more options you have to meet more men. Fixating on one – should not be an option for summer, that’s for the Fall – but not for summer months. Did I mention that shameless flirting is a good thing? Great – point number one is over. The other thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of ladies are heading to the internet to find these boys of summer. That’s perfectly acceptable. Why not – once more – the more men you meet the more options you have. It’s what I call the grown up version of “bar encounters/boys of summer.”
Next up – is getting out of your own environment. You have to – because well, there are more options. It’s like swimming in the same pool every weekend. Same pool – same people. It’s not that you don’t like that pool or those people – but sometimes going to a pool that you’ve never been to before has the better sun!? You got me folks? Making new friends takes a little laughing, a little talking and a couple of beers. Ladies – try it. Trust me it works.
The other thing that’s kind of essential is a good wingman. I’m probably not being PC when I call them a wing man – but I like Top Gun and I’m not PC so I’m going with it. The point is, you need a good spotter and person to cover your ass. The spotter (wingman) makes first contact for you – because let’s face it girls – most times are friends are better at making initial contact and introductions than we are for ourselves. Plus – you’ve got to get the conversation started and two girls to one guy has better odds for conversation. If they can withstand the verbal jousting of two females then you are in good shape for conversation. It’s kind of like the test – if they can’t speak to both of you, they probably have a hard time talking in general…and then that’s a long night!!! Better to know now.
Also when your wingman is covering your ass, she knows when to step in and say, either your lipstick is on your teeth, your skirt is tucked in your underwear, NO – you can’t leave with that guy with the knife in his back-pocket, or my favorite: my car broke down – I need YOU to give ME a ride home RIGHT NOW!!!
Lastly – no attachments can be made immediately. This is a conversation I’ve had repeatedly with a few of my girl-friends. The point is fun. Doing something different, trying something new. Getting out and not settling for the first thing to tell you in a drunken slur – “BUT I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU”. There are places to go, bars to stumble into and many-many new friends to meet.
The time has come ladies for all of us to embrace our inner boy – and I call it boy because boys are so flighty and quick to pick up and move it along – I think some of us have been doing it wrong for way too long. Have a good time this summer. Look for some fun and enjoy it. Before you know it, summer is over and the only thing you are looking forward to is cooking a Turkey or a ToFurkey.
Get your kicks – while the sun is still up and the lights stay on longer!
xox – Ms Amanda Jones
photo originally published here
EVERY MILE A MEMORY…
I had a friend come into town for a few days. On one of the nights that she was here she and another of our friends who resides in Orange County decided they were going to go out in Hollywood. I unfortunately had another commitment that I couldn’t get out of and couldn’t join them. Halfway through the night they called completely lost, trying to find a bar/club– in all fairness this place is a little hidden. They had the address, but couldn’t find it anywhere. I asked them what they were near and then they told me. I knew they’d gone too far because I happened to know the address of one of the places they’d just driven past, The Key Club. I then told them they needed to head back in the opposite direction and gave them some other landmarks along with the addresses so they’d know what their destination was near. They only had to call me back for re-directions once more and eventually they got to the place they were looking for and had a good time.
The next morning we all went to breakfast and I was asked how on earth I remembered those addresses. I actually have a pretty good memory, but before I could explain how I recalled those addresses my good friend shrieked to our other friend “Oh my god! Has Siria ever told you about how she remembers things by what she outfit she was wearing?!!! She remembers everything! Siria tell her!!!” This may sound weird, but this is true sort of, and if you are good friends with me then you know this already. If you aren’t, I’ll explain the outfit thing in a minute.
Everyone has their own memory tricks and perhaps you use mnemonic devices like acronyms or rhymes? Mine is a little different, but I’m sure just as common. So before you start thinking that I have Savant syndrome (think Rain Man) my ability to recall something is almost usually only as good as my ability to visualize it, and usually that serves me well as I have a pretty good memory.
For example the way I recalled the Key Club address wasn’t very complicated. We put shows on there on a monthly basis for a little over two years, so I constantly had to give that address out. However, the way I recall it still is by either visualizing an old flier advertising a show there or an email blast that had the address on it. Most of the clubs ( Three Clubs, Lava Lounge, The Echo, Safari Sams, Spaceland, Zen Sushi, etc.) that we put shows on at I can remember the addresses to in this manner. El Cid was a little harder for me for some reason, but one day I came across a photo of a friend that was taken during one of our shows and right above his head is a close-up of the address, so after that anytime I needed to recall that address I just visualized that photo.
I remember on long (or even short ones sometimes) car trips, I used to try to memorize license plates of the vehicles on the road. (more…)
FEAR AND LOATHING AND OBSESSING OVER ROCK BANDS…
My trip to Vegas with a girl, a bottle of Vodka, and tickets to see one of the greatest rock bands!!!
It all started with an idea, a very simple and yet dangerous idea. How hard would it be for me to sneak into Coachella? This is the first year concert goers couldn’t buy single day passes. As it turned out this is the first year also where I was ABSOLUTELY going to spend the money and buy tickets for Saturday and Sunday – but the organizers of Coachella went and screwed that up for me! But I digress. So I began thinking of ways to scale a fence, bypass a security guard or ten and get into Coachella without dropping hundreds of dollars for a three day pass and another three hundred dollars on hotels, etc.
I started trying to enlist people to go along with this plan of mine and no one seemed all that interested in driving for 2 hours to “maybe” get into a show – or “maybe” get arrested (although I really don’t think that would happen – we’d simply be escorted from the premises). So the next and possibly more subdued idea for my plan was to legally get a chance to see Muse. Then it hit me – LAS VEGAS BABY!!!
I had been checking the Muse website to see where and when they would be around Los Angeles but I was positive the show would be sold out. Turns out Vegas still had tickets and I was now determined to see this band that I’ve been playing on my iPod, in my car, while I cook dinner, when I’m taking a shower. MUSE! Over and over and over again. I sent out a FB message saying I was thinking of getting tickets to see Muse in Las Vegas and immediately one of my best Girl-Fridays said they were down!
I believe the next thought went something like this: HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT.
We were extremely excited to have a girls-trip, Vegas, and Muse weekend all rolled into one!
More plotting, scheduling of hotels, and then contemplating what we would do when we got to town went on. We decided on The Luxor Hotel, for it’s proximity to Mandalay Bay and on vodka for obvious reasons. Hunter S. Thompson kept being mentioned over and over again and there were some thoughts that maybe we might get into a fair amount of trouble…all of these things were good in our book. The big day arrived and we packed up the car with the appropriate amount of booze (ok, a lot of booze), fashionable glittery items, shoes, all of the Muse CD’s I own, and we were off. (more…)
TO SLEEP OR NOT TO SLEEP- AFTER MIDNIGHT…TROUBLE LURKS
By Ms Amanda Jones
It’s me Amanda.
2010 is here already! I don’t know what the hell I’ve been doing but I know it hasn’t been writing. Sure, I have a busy life – we all do from what I understand. The thing is, for the last year on top of the busy life that I deal with from day to day I’ve been harboring this major secret. OK – it’s not that major of a secret because I tell everyone about it, but apparently Amanda’s brain or lack thereof depending on how you are looking at it, doesn’t enjoy sleeping anymore. It’s true.
My name is Amanda Jones and I’m an insomniac.
The worst part is I’m not even an inspired insomniac.
I’m a, let me sit in front of the television and watch Twilight for the 100th time insomniac. I’m a, ooooh a new block of ‘Forensic File’s is starting at 2am –- lasting till 4am and then by 4:15am I’ll have to check all the windows and doors to make sure everything is safe– insomniac. I’m a, thank god ‘SVU’ starts at 4am, insomniac. Then 6:30 rolls around and SURPRISE…I’m sleepy finally!!! This isn’t a good thing when you have to be at work at 8am, and are expected to work a full 8 hours. In fact, it blows.
I always think to myself I wish I could be creative at that time of the night. I wish I could think of interesting and witty things to write about, tell you all the amazing stories I’ve come up with and how my life has been a breeze in 2010 compared to 2009. However, the truth is, I spend the entire time pissed off at myself for not being able to shut off my brain and contemplating whether or not it’s safe for me run down to my car without telling anyone, IN CASE I’m abducted and no one will discover it for the next 4 hours when Andre or my kids wake up.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SPEND NIGHT AFTER NIGHT WATCHING MURDER SHOWS!
So in 2010 I think I should visit my Dr. and ask for a prescription of sleeping pills!
The problem is, I don’t like sleeping pills because I wake up hung over in the morning…and as someone responsible for animals and people and such….not being able to function in the morning and having to go to a job just isn’t in the cards. I’m kind of out of options. This in itself is kind of hilarious to me. As a young woman I was the one shouting at people, “Who needs sleep – you can sleep when you’re dead.” As it turns out….I NEED SLEEP – That’s who!?
Oh, and the other thing about Dr.’s and pills is that everyone is terrified that when you ask for a prescription you are becoming an addict! (more…)
WHEN GERMS LEAD TO CHEMISTRY…
You never know what you’re going to catch on TV on a Saturday morning at 4:45 a.m. Sometimes, luck and insomnia are on your side (especially if you slept most of the previous day away while fighting a sore throat and fever) and you happen to catch a 15 minute Talk Back produced educational segment on Germs sandwiched in between an episode of “The Office” (the original British version) and “The Mighty Boosh.”
Now mind you, this wasn’t your typical 20/20 or Dateline type of expose. No, it was a “quick, don’t let them know what hit them” interactive (“write this down”) episode in the series “Look Around You” spoofing those “made for schools educational science videos” that were forced upon us in elementary school (even then they were outdated).
In reality this write-up should be dedicated to the brilliance of Peter Serafinowicz, creator of these spoofs. However, instead all of those petri dishes brought back memories of my high school Chemistry class, so that shall be the focus of this column entry.
Before getting to the Chemistry, let me tell you what I learned:
-Germs originated in Germany and then spread elsewhere (Not to be confused with The Germs who “originated” in Los Angeles and then spread “elsewhere” )
- If someone consumes a few drops of liquid sewage and coughs in your direction it may take as little as 3 hours for your temperature to go from 98.4 degrees to 107.2 degrees. (I had a fever. Does hot chocolate from the McCafe count as liquid sewage? Because that’s all I felt like consuming.)
- I could easily get sick by kissing a dog or a tramp or by using a friend’s recorder (It’s safe to say I didn’t get sick by doing any of these).
Now on to the Chemistry…
When we last left off with this particular Chemistry class it had gotten me into trouble with an ex-boyfriend. Science and I have never really gotten along. I appreciate it and actually know some scientists (yes, even of the rocket variety), chemists, and NASA engineers, but the scientific route has never been for me. Really, it’s all my fault. Science has repeatedly unsuccessfully tried to sweep me off my feet. I’ll blame it on timing as every time it’s tried to woo me, I’ve usually been in a relationship with History or English. (more…)
When Am I Ever Going to Grow Up?
I wrote the title for this and it made me giggle silently to myself. The problem with the title is that I’m a 33 year old, with three kids and am completely responsible with a home under my belt to prove it. I throw dinner parties, birthday parties, cook for all of my friends and I can even make a killer Martini. The issue is that I’m 33 years old and still think like I’m 17 about a lot of silly things. I’ll give you a few examples to explain, the most recent happening a few weeks ago.
The Pixies were in town. This is one of, if not my absolute favorite bands. Ok, it’s neck and neck with The Pixies, The Clash, Minor Threat and Black Flag – but you get the idea. Now the last few times The Pixies have been in town one of two things occurred. I got so excited that I drank too much and ended up far more drunk than I should have been and had to be babysat all night by an unhappy boyfriend and or I would get so excited that would literally not be able to stop jumping around and or would get annoyed with the people around me because I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why they were all standing there staring at the most amazing band and NOT jumping around?
So The Pixies announced their Doolittle Tour and then I found out it was at The Hollywood Palladium. The HOLLYWOOD FUCKING PALLADIUM – where I spent almost every month, in my youth, watching some of the most amazing shows of all time (for the 90’s that is). I was thrilled and very much beginning to revert to the 17 year old. I was listening to Doolittle over and over again. Counting down the days till the show! However, I was also promising myself that I wouldn’t drink too much so I could really enjoy the show. I wore a cute skirt, put on some pretty make-up, and showed up on time with a friend that I had convinced needed to see this band with me. Off we went. I had a cocktail before I left the house and thought – Perfect – this is going swimmingly! Then I show up at the show and someone I know hands me a water bottle and says, “Here drink this quick” (It didn’t have water in it – by the way). So I do. Now, I am entering The Palladium and ever more excited!!! Woo-Hoo – The Pixies!!!! Then I think I should grab a beer because I am not leaving the show for anything!!! (more…)