WHEN GERMS LEAD TO CHEMISTRY…
You never know what you’re going to catch on TV on a Saturday morning at 4:45 a.m. Sometimes, luck and insomnia are on your side (especially if you slept most of the previous day away while fighting a sore throat and fever) and you happen to catch a 15 minute Talk Back produced educational segment on Germs sandwiched in between an episode of “The Office” (the original British version) and “The Mighty Boosh.”
Now mind you, this wasn’t your typical 20/20 or Dateline type of expose. No, it was a “quick, don’t let them know what hit them” interactive (“write this down”) episode in the series “Look Around You” spoofing those “made for schools educational science videos” that were forced upon us in elementary school (even then they were outdated).
In reality this write-up should be dedicated to the brilliance of Peter Serafinowicz, creator of these spoofs. However, instead all of those petri dishes brought back memories of my high school Chemistry class, so that shall be the focus of this column entry.
Before getting to the Chemistry, let me tell you what I learned:
-Germs originated in Germany and then spread elsewhere (Not to be confused with The Germs who “originated” in Los Angeles and then spread “elsewhere” )
- If someone consumes a few drops of liquid sewage and coughs in your direction it may take as little as 3 hours for your temperature to go from 98.4 degrees to 107.2 degrees. (I had a fever. Does hot chocolate from the McCafe count as liquid sewage? Because that’s all I felt like consuming.)
- I could easily get sick by kissing a dog or a tramp or by using a friend’s recorder (It’s safe to say I didn’t get sick by doing any of these).
Now on to the Chemistry…
When we last left off with this particular Chemistry class it had gotten me into trouble with an ex-boyfriend. Science and I have never really gotten along. I appreciate it and actually know some scientists (yes, even of the rocket variety), chemists, and NASA engineers, but the scientific route has never been for me. Really, it’s all my fault. Science has repeatedly unsuccessfully tried to sweep me off my feet. I’ll blame it on timing as every time it’s tried to woo me, I’ve usually been in a relationship with History or English. (more…)
When Am I Ever Going to Grow Up?
I wrote the title for this and it made me giggle silently to myself. The problem with the title is that I’m a 33 year old, with three kids and am completely responsible with a home under my belt to prove it. I throw dinner parties, birthday parties, cook for all of my friends and I can even make a killer Martini. The issue is that I’m 33 years old and still think like I’m 17 about a lot of silly things. I’ll give you a few examples to explain, the most recent happening a few weeks ago.
The Pixies were in town. This is one of, if not my absolute favorite bands. Ok, it’s neck and neck with The Pixies, The Clash, Minor Threat and Black Flag – but you get the idea. Now the last few times The Pixies have been in town one of two things occurred. I got so excited that I drank too much and ended up far more drunk than I should have been and had to be babysat all night by an unhappy boyfriend and or I would get so excited that would literally not be able to stop jumping around and or would get annoyed with the people around me because I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why they were all standing there staring at the most amazing band and NOT jumping around?
So The Pixies announced their Doolittle Tour and then I found out it was at The Hollywood Palladium. The HOLLYWOOD FUCKING PALLADIUM – where I spent almost every month, in my youth, watching some of the most amazing shows of all time (for the 90’s that is). I was thrilled and very much beginning to revert to the 17 year old. I was listening to Doolittle over and over again. Counting down the days till the show! However, I was also promising myself that I wouldn’t drink too much so I could really enjoy the show. I wore a cute skirt, put on some pretty make-up, and showed up on time with a friend that I had convinced needed to see this band with me. Off we went. I had a cocktail before I left the house and thought – Perfect – this is going swimmingly! Then I show up at the show and someone I know hands me a water bottle and says, “Here drink this quick” (It didn’t have water in it – by the way). So I do. Now, I am entering The Palladium and ever more excited!!! Woo-Hoo – The Pixies!!!! Then I think I should grab a beer because I am not leaving the show for anything!!! (more…)
The Great Debate: Medical Marijuana and the City of Los Angeles.
In the press, as of late, there is much talk about closing down Medical Marijuana Dispensaries. So much so that our fearless D.A. Steve Cooley has taken it upon himself to go to war with the dispensaries and the City Council that continue to try to regulate these establishments.
The issues that the City Council continue to struggle with is attempting to make dispensaries maintain a certain number of feet from public schools, parks, libraries and or any other places children could gather. However, a bigger issue seems to be lurking from behind.
That issue is the D.A Steve Cooley, and what I’m now referring to as his lack of understanding when it comes to the constituents that reside in the city of Los Angeles.
I’ll explain. (more…)
THAT’S LIFE – WHAT’S IN A NAME…
Twenty Questions. I haven’t played that game in a long time…not voluntarily at least. A few days ago I came across someone who seemed determined to engage me in a round of this. The topic? My name.
The inquisitor started off with a rapid-fire round of basic questions I’ve heard a million times including:
“How do you spell it?”
S-I-R-I-A
“What does it mean?”
Sun-bright, Glowing (finally all of those ‘Siria is very bright’ remarks growing up finally make sense) On a side note, I didn’t know the meaning of my name for most of my life and doubt my parents did when they christened me with this. The name could’ve meant “your daughter is easy” for all they knew (FYI-I’m not).
Lesson to be learned: Parents, look up the meaning of a name before selecting it.
“Are you Syrian?”
I think I am basically soliciting this question, as normally when I introduce myself and people look bewildered at my name I add “Siria like the country but spelled differently.”
However, no I am not Syrian. Not that I know of. Perhaps somewhere along the way … did the Spanish/Portuguese/Mexicans go to battle with Syria somewhere in history? If so, then maybe.
The previous question is usually followed by either “Are you Middle Eastern?” or “Are you Persian?”
No, see the previous answer. Although, I now know Siria is of Spanish and Persian origin.
“How did your parents come up with that?”
A friend of my mom’s in high school had this name and she thought it was different and liked it.
After the interrogation is over they usually have a closing line of something to the effect of “That’s pretty, it suits you.” To which I usually reply “Thanks, it’s different.”
Slight variations of this back and forth are common occurrences in my life, happening probably at least once a week due to the high volume of new people I constantly meet.
As a child, I hated the uniqueness of my name for the attention it would bring me as I was super-shy. My middle name wasn’t much better to go by (here’s a clue it means “Victory-Bringer”…yeah I know I am Siria – the “Sun-Bright/Glowing Victory Bringer”).
Why couldn’t I be an Amy/Jennifer/Susan/Megan/Sarah like the other little girls? Even my brother got a normal name. Who cares if there were multiples of each at school? At least no one mispronounced their names (Sierra, Serina, Seria, Sariah, Suri) and most importantly they never had to special order their personalized souvenir keychains/coffee mugs/pens and wait 4-8 weeks for delivery. Nope they could have them same day.
I’m not really complaining as I’ve sort of grown into my name and can’t imagine having another (I was informed as a child by my parents that my name was to be Vanessa, but they changed their minds). Also, it seems that the older I get the less of an anomaly it is as people with different, interesting names surround me more and more these days.
My answers to the questions posed to me regarding my name have long since become automated (eventually I may just start directing them to this column entry or print out copies of it to keep handy) and don’t really annoy me ever as I am fine with people’s curiosity. I can’t help but wonder how the other Sirias of this world (I’ve only met one in my lifetime) address the same questions.
THAT’S LIFE – Keys to Success?
Can you have too many keys?
I’m not necessarily the most organized of people (which is kind of ironic since I am usually the organizer of most things I’m involved in).
However, dealing with so many projects that involve many different people/schedules/timelines, as well as a full-time job (where I couldn’t get away with being completely scattered), and a highly active social life (that lately I’ve really put on the back burner) I do have to maintain a certain level of organization. Most of this organizing takes place in my head.
I rarely think about all of the keys on my key chain and whether they are 
organized or not. Each of them has a purpose and when I need them they are there…all in one place (except for when I can’t find them at all…I can’t begin to recall all the times I’ve left them on the table/my bed/kitchen counter and they were nowhere to be found)
However, lately due to the fact that my car is currently being worked on, I’ve had to add or remove keys a few times as I’ve changed vehicles.
Each time I’ve thought the following:
1. Do I really need all of those keys?
2. I should probably go through them to remove any keys that I don’t need, who knows what I may still have a key to?
3. With that many keys, how the heck do they still end up way at the bottom of my purse each time I go to look for them?
Well in this day in age where keyless entry methods (pin code entry, push start buttons, doormen, badges/scan cards, and voice activated entry) seem to more and more sneak into my world, I thought there is absolutely no way I still need all of these keys! (more…)