WHEN GERMS LEAD TO CHEMISTRY…
You never know what you’re going to catch on TV on a Saturday morning at 4:45 a.m. Sometimes, luck and insomnia are on your side (especially if you slept most of the previous day away while fighting a sore throat and fever) and you happen to catch a 15 minute Talk Back produced educational segment on Germs sandwiched in between an episode of “The Office” (the original British version) and “The Mighty Boosh.”
Now mind you, this wasn’t your typical 20/20 or Dateline type of expose. No, it was a “quick, don’t let them know what hit them” interactive (“write this down”) episode in the series “Look Around You” spoofing those “made for schools educational science videos” that were forced upon us in elementary school (even then they were outdated).
In reality this write-up should be dedicated to the brilliance of Peter Serafinowicz, creator of these spoofs. However, instead all of those petri dishes brought back memories of my high school Chemistry class, so that shall be the focus of this column entry.
Before getting to the Chemistry, let me tell you what I learned:
-Germs originated in Germany and then spread elsewhere (Not to be confused with The Germs who “originated” in Los Angeles and then spread “elsewhere” )
- If someone consumes a few drops of liquid sewage and coughs in your direction it may take as little as 3 hours for your temperature to go from 98.4 degrees to 107.2 degrees. (I had a fever. Does hot chocolate from the McCafe count as liquid sewage? Because that’s all I felt like consuming.)
- I could easily get sick by kissing a dog or a tramp or by using a friend’s recorder (It’s safe to say I didn’t get sick by doing any of these).
Now on to the Chemistry…
When we last left off with this particular Chemistry class it had gotten me into trouble with an ex-boyfriend. Science and I have never really gotten along. I appreciate it and actually know some scientists (yes, even of the rocket variety), chemists, and NASA engineers, but the scientific route has never been for me. Really, it’s all my fault. Science has repeatedly unsuccessfully tried to sweep me off my feet. I’ll blame it on timing as every time it’s tried to woo me, I’ve usually been in a relationship with History or English. (more…)
When Am I Ever Going to Grow Up?
I wrote the title for this and it made me giggle silently to myself. The problem with the title is that I’m a 33 year old, with three kids and am completely responsible with a home under my belt to prove it. I throw dinner parties, birthday parties, cook for all of my friends and I can even make a killer Martini. The issue is that I’m 33 years old and still think like I’m 17 about a lot of silly things. I’ll give you a few examples to explain, the most recent happening a few weeks ago.
The Pixies were in town. This is one of, if not my absolute favorite bands. Ok, it’s neck and neck with The Pixies, The Clash, Minor Threat and Black Flag – but you get the idea. Now the last few times The Pixies have been in town one of two things occurred. I got so excited that I drank too much and ended up far more drunk than I should have been and had to be babysat all night by an unhappy boyfriend and or I would get so excited that would literally not be able to stop jumping around and or would get annoyed with the people around me because I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why they were all standing there staring at the most amazing band and NOT jumping around?
So The Pixies announced their Doolittle Tour and then I found out it was at The Hollywood Palladium. The HOLLYWOOD FUCKING PALLADIUM – where I spent almost every month, in my youth, watching some of the most amazing shows of all time (for the 90’s that is). I was thrilled and very much beginning to revert to the 17 year old. I was listening to Doolittle over and over again. Counting down the days till the show! However, I was also promising myself that I wouldn’t drink too much so I could really enjoy the show. I wore a cute skirt, put on some pretty make-up, and showed up on time with a friend that I had convinced needed to see this band with me. Off we went. I had a cocktail before I left the house and thought – Perfect – this is going swimmingly! Then I show up at the show and someone I know hands me a water bottle and says, “Here drink this quick” (It didn’t have water in it – by the way). So I do. Now, I am entering The Palladium and ever more excited!!! Woo-Hoo – The Pixies!!!! Then I think I should grab a beer because I am not leaving the show for anything!!! (more…)
The Great Debate: Medical Marijuana and the City of Los Angeles.
In the press, as of late, there is much talk about closing down Medical Marijuana Dispensaries. So much so that our fearless D.A. Steve Cooley has taken it upon himself to go to war with the dispensaries and the City Council that continue to try to regulate these establishments.
The issues that the City Council continue to struggle with is attempting to make dispensaries maintain a certain number of feet from public schools, parks, libraries and or any other places children could gather. However, a bigger issue seems to be lurking from behind.
That issue is the D.A Steve Cooley, and what I’m now referring to as his lack of understanding when it comes to the constituents that reside in the city of Los Angeles.
I’ll explain. (more…)
THAT’S LIFE – WHAT’S IN A NAME…
Twenty Questions. I haven’t played that game in a long time…not voluntarily at least. A few days ago I came across someone who seemed determined to engage me in a round of this. The topic? My name.
The inquisitor started off with a rapid-fire round of basic questions I’ve heard a million times including:
“How do you spell it?”
S-I-R-I-A
“What does it mean?”
Sun-bright, Glowing (finally all of those ‘Siria is very bright’ remarks growing up finally make sense) On a side note, I didn’t know the meaning of my name for most of my life and doubt my parents did when they christened me with this. The name could’ve meant “your daughter is easy” for all they knew (FYI-I’m not).
Lesson to be learned: Parents, look up the meaning of a name before selecting it.
“Are you Syrian?”
I think I am basically soliciting this question, as normally when I introduce myself and people look bewildered at my name I add “Siria like the country but spelled differently.”
However, no I am not Syrian. Not that I know of. Perhaps somewhere along the way … did the Spanish/Portuguese/Mexicans go to battle with Syria somewhere in history? If so, then maybe.
The previous question is usually followed by either “Are you Middle Eastern?” or “Are you Persian?”
No, see the previous answer. Although, I now know Siria is of Spanish and Persian origin.
“How did your parents come up with that?”
A friend of my mom’s in high school had this name and she thought it was different and liked it.
After the interrogation is over they usually have a closing line of something to the effect of “That’s pretty, it suits you.” To which I usually reply “Thanks, it’s different.”
Slight variations of this back and forth are common occurrences in my life, happening probably at least once a week due to the high volume of new people I constantly meet.
As a child, I hated the uniqueness of my name for the attention it would bring me as I was super-shy. My middle name wasn’t much better to go by (here’s a clue it means “Victory-Bringer”…yeah I know I am Siria – the “Sun-Bright/Glowing Victory Bringer”).
Why couldn’t I be an Amy/Jennifer/Susan/Megan/Sarah like the other little girls? Even my brother got a normal name. Who cares if there were multiples of each at school? At least no one mispronounced their names (Sierra, Serina, Seria, Sariah, Suri) and most importantly they never had to special order their personalized souvenir keychains/coffee mugs/pens and wait 4-8 weeks for delivery. Nope they could have them same day.
I’m not really complaining as I’ve sort of grown into my name and can’t imagine having another (I was informed as a child by my parents that my name was to be Vanessa, but they changed their minds). Also, it seems that the older I get the less of an anomaly it is as people with different, interesting names surround me more and more these days.
My answers to the questions posed to me regarding my name have long since become automated (eventually I may just start directing them to this column entry or print out copies of it to keep handy) and don’t really annoy me ever as I am fine with people’s curiosity. I can’t help but wonder how the other Sirias of this world (I’ve only met one in my lifetime) address the same questions.
THAT’S LIFE – Keys to Success?
Can you have too many keys?
I’m not necessarily the most organized of people (which is kind of ironic since I am usually the organizer of most things I’m involved in).
However, dealing with so many projects that involve many different people/schedules/timelines, as well as a full-time job (where I couldn’t get away with being completely scattered), and a highly active social life (that lately I’ve really put on the back burner) I do have to maintain a certain level of organization. Most of this organizing takes place in my head.
I rarely think about all of the keys on my key chain and whether they are 
organized or not. Each of them has a purpose and when I need them they are there…all in one place (except for when I can’t find them at all…I can’t begin to recall all the times I’ve left them on the table/my bed/kitchen counter and they were nowhere to be found)
However, lately due to the fact that my car is currently being worked on, I’ve had to add or remove keys a few times as I’ve changed vehicles.
Each time I’ve thought the following:
1. Do I really need all of those keys?
2. I should probably go through them to remove any keys that I don’t need, who knows what I may still have a key to?
3. With that many keys, how the heck do they still end up way at the bottom of my purse each time I go to look for them?
Well in this day in age where keyless entry methods (pin code entry, push start buttons, doormen, badges/scan cards, and voice activated entry) seem to more and more sneak into my world, I thought there is absolutely no way I still need all of these keys! (more…)
YOUNG AND RECKLESS IN L.A.: Stories of a Girl without Hesitation – ‘BUY THE TICKET, TAKE THE RIDE!’
I was trying to think of a witty line to describe how much I liked this man. I couldn’t come up with anything. Sometimes words fail to capture a moment you won’t forget , a time, a place or an individual that you hold in the highest of regards. I remember the first time I read Hunter S Thompson and I don’t think I’ve been the same since.
Hunter S Thompson was born on July 18, 1937 and died in 2005. Everyone knows the story of how he died. Like Hemingway before him it was by his own choice. I happen to think this is the best way to go out, on your own terms, but something tells me we might have had the same point of view on a few things.
Hunter was what I refer to as the last of the great dinosaurs that roamed the earth. Beautiful and frightening. A ferocious beast, in the best way possible. He lived a life that couldn’t be replicated if you tried. That’s a good thing, could you imagine the United States chock full of little HS Thompson’s? It would be mayhem and chaos in the streets. I might enjoy it myself but I think the average everyday citizen would be a little frightened, locked tight behind their blockaded front doors.
So much of what is currently going on in the world mystifies me, we live in a nation of post 9/11 fear . It’s just the way it is, as times and politics change. Unless you choose to say, “Fuck the rules, fuck the status quo – I’ll make my own rules ” and Mr Thompson did indeed do that.
I could wax poetic about this for hours on end so I’ll just give you a little of what made him so great and why I think this man was the coolest.
Truth in words.
Imagine such a concept? In today’s shallow pool of silly journalism and Fox 11 news he wrote a slightly exaggerated , eternally entertaining interpretation of the goings on around him Not like the silly tabloid journalism that infiltrates the news and magazines on the stands. He took a piece of American life and revealed it for it’s absurdity. For better or for worse.
“If I’d written all the truth I knew for the past ten years, about 600 people – including me – would be rotting in prison cells from Rio to Seattle today. Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism”
“The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good”
FEAR is not an option.
Yes, he wrote Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. A fantastic read but there is so much more to be learned from the man. So go out, find those things called a bookstore and buy some of his others works. I can tell you without a doubt they are just as entertaining, just as fearless and just as Hunter as the most popular book that everyone knows.
“The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over”
Don’t be afraid to live and make mistakes.
Hunter was a gentleman from the south .Chivalrous, unruly, brilliant and human. Humans make mistakes, they place their feet in places that sometimes they should not go. But – there is something to be said for those steps. So take them and make them. In the end, it’s still the end.
“For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled”
“No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.”
In honor of Hunter, in the month of his birth, get out from behind your computers, your television, your X-box & live your life. Take a chance & make your own way, whichever way it may be. This life is over before you even know what hit you – so make it good.
I’ll leave you with my two favorite lines from the good Doctor himself:
“Buy the ticket, take the ride” and “I feel the same way about Disco as I do about herpes.”
Check out Gonzo in your bookstores!
And while you’re at it, pick yourself up some Hemingway – Hunter would like that!
Ms. Amanda Jones