FEAR AND LOATHING AND OBSESSING OVER ROCK BANDS…
My trip to Vegas with a girl, a bottle of Vodka, and tickets to see one of the greatest rock bands!!!
It all started with an idea, a very simple and yet dangerous idea. How hard would it be for me to sneak into Coachella? This is the first year concert goers couldn’t buy single day passes. As it turned out this is the first year also where I was ABSOLUTELY going to spend the money and buy tickets for Saturday and Sunday – but the organizers of Coachella went and screwed that up for me! But I digress. So I began thinking of ways to scale a fence, bypass a security guard or ten and get into Coachella without dropping hundreds of dollars for a three day pass and another three hundred dollars on hotels, etc.
I started trying to enlist people to go along with this plan of mine and no one seemed all that interested in driving for 2 hours to “maybe” get into a show – or “maybe” get arrested (although I really don’t think that would happen – we’d simply be escorted from the premises). So the next and possibly more subdued idea for my plan was to legally get a chance to see Muse. Then it hit me – LAS VEGAS BABY!!!
I had been checking the Muse website to see where and when they would be around Los Angeles but I was positive the show would be sold out. Turns out Vegas still had tickets and I was now determined to see this band that I’ve been playing on my iPod, in my car, while I cook dinner, when I’m taking a shower. MUSE! Over and over and over again. I sent out a FB message saying I was thinking of getting tickets to see Muse in Las Vegas and immediately one of my best Girl-Fridays said they were down!
I believe the next thought went something like this: HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT.
We were extremely excited to have a girls-trip, Vegas, and Muse weekend all rolled into one!
More plotting, scheduling of hotels, and then contemplating what we would do when we got to town went on. We decided on The Luxor Hotel, for it’s proximity to Mandalay Bay and on vodka for obvious reasons. Hunter S. Thompson kept being mentioned over and over again and there were some thoughts that maybe we might get into a fair amount of trouble…all of these things were good in our book. The big day arrived and we packed up the car with the appropriate amount of booze (ok, a lot of booze), fashionable glittery items, shoes, all of the Muse CD’s I own, and we were off. (more…)
TO SLEEP OR NOT TO SLEEP- AFTER MIDNIGHT…TROUBLE LURKS
By Ms Amanda Jones
It’s me Amanda.
2010 is here already! I don’t know what the hell I’ve been doing but I know it hasn’t been writing. Sure, I have a busy life – we all do from what I understand. The thing is, for the last year on top of the busy life that I deal with from day to day I’ve been harboring this major secret. OK – it’s not that major of a secret because I tell everyone about it, but apparently Amanda’s brain or lack thereof depending on how you are looking at it, doesn’t enjoy sleeping anymore. It’s true.
My name is Amanda Jones and I’m an insomniac.
The worst part is I’m not even an inspired insomniac.
I’m a, let me sit in front of the television and watch Twilight for the 100th time insomniac. I’m a, ooooh a new block of ‘Forensic File’s is starting at 2am –- lasting till 4am and then by 4:15am I’ll have to check all the windows and doors to make sure everything is safe– insomniac. I’m a, thank god ‘SVU’ starts at 4am, insomniac. Then 6:30 rolls around and SURPRISE…I’m sleepy finally!!! This isn’t a good thing when you have to be at work at 8am, and are expected to work a full 8 hours. In fact, it blows.
I always think to myself I wish I could be creative at that time of the night. I wish I could think of interesting and witty things to write about, tell you all the amazing stories I’ve come up with and how my life has been a breeze in 2010 compared to 2009. However, the truth is, I spend the entire time pissed off at myself for not being able to shut off my brain and contemplating whether or not it’s safe for me run down to my car without telling anyone, IN CASE I’m abducted and no one will discover it for the next 4 hours when Andre or my kids wake up.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SPEND NIGHT AFTER NIGHT WATCHING MURDER SHOWS!
So in 2010 I think I should visit my Dr. and ask for a prescription of sleeping pills!
The problem is, I don’t like sleeping pills because I wake up hung over in the morning…and as someone responsible for animals and people and such….not being able to function in the morning and having to go to a job just isn’t in the cards. I’m kind of out of options. This in itself is kind of hilarious to me. As a young woman I was the one shouting at people, “Who needs sleep – you can sleep when you’re dead.” As it turns out….I NEED SLEEP – That’s who!?
Oh, and the other thing about Dr.’s and pills is that everyone is terrified that when you ask for a prescription you are becoming an addict! (more…)
WHEN GERMS LEAD TO CHEMISTRY…
You never know what you’re going to catch on TV on a Saturday morning at 4:45 a.m. Sometimes, luck and insomnia are on your side (especially if you slept most of the previous day away while fighting a sore throat and fever) and you happen to catch a 15 minute Talk Back produced educational segment on Germs sandwiched in between an episode of “The Office” (the original British version) and “The Mighty Boosh.”
Now mind you, this wasn’t your typical 20/20 or Dateline type of expose. No, it was a “quick, don’t let them know what hit them” interactive (“write this down”) episode in the series “Look Around You” spoofing those “made for schools educational science videos” that were forced upon us in elementary school (even then they were outdated).
In reality this write-up should be dedicated to the brilliance of Peter Serafinowicz, creator of these spoofs. However, instead all of those petri dishes brought back memories of my high school Chemistry class, so that shall be the focus of this column entry.
Before getting to the Chemistry, let me tell you what I learned:
-Germs originated in Germany and then spread elsewhere (Not to be confused with The Germs who “originated” in Los Angeles and then spread “elsewhere” )
- If someone consumes a few drops of liquid sewage and coughs in your direction it may take as little as 3 hours for your temperature to go from 98.4 degrees to 107.2 degrees. (I had a fever. Does hot chocolate from the McCafe count as liquid sewage? Because that’s all I felt like consuming.)
- I could easily get sick by kissing a dog or a tramp or by using a friend’s recorder (It’s safe to say I didn’t get sick by doing any of these).
Now on to the Chemistry…
When we last left off with this particular Chemistry class it had gotten me into trouble with an ex-boyfriend. Science and I have never really gotten along. I appreciate it and actually know some scientists (yes, even of the rocket variety), chemists, and NASA engineers, but the scientific route has never been for me. Really, it’s all my fault. Science has repeatedly unsuccessfully tried to sweep me off my feet. I’ll blame it on timing as every time it’s tried to woo me, I’ve usually been in a relationship with History or English. (more…)
When Am I Ever Going to Grow Up?
I wrote the title for this and it made me giggle silently to myself. The problem with the title is that I’m a 33 year old, with three kids and am completely responsible with a home under my belt to prove it. I throw dinner parties, birthday parties, cook for all of my friends and I can even make a killer Martini. The issue is that I’m 33 years old and still think like I’m 17 about a lot of silly things. I’ll give you a few examples to explain, the most recent happening a few weeks ago.
The Pixies were in town. This is one of, if not my absolute favorite bands. Ok, it’s neck and neck with The Pixies, The Clash, Minor Threat and Black Flag – but you get the idea. Now the last few times The Pixies have been in town one of two things occurred. I got so excited that I drank too much and ended up far more drunk than I should have been and had to be babysat all night by an unhappy boyfriend and or I would get so excited that would literally not be able to stop jumping around and or would get annoyed with the people around me because I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why they were all standing there staring at the most amazing band and NOT jumping around?
So The Pixies announced their Doolittle Tour and then I found out it was at The Hollywood Palladium. The HOLLYWOOD FUCKING PALLADIUM – where I spent almost every month, in my youth, watching some of the most amazing shows of all time (for the 90’s that is). I was thrilled and very much beginning to revert to the 17 year old. I was listening to Doolittle over and over again. Counting down the days till the show! However, I was also promising myself that I wouldn’t drink too much so I could really enjoy the show. I wore a cute skirt, put on some pretty make-up, and showed up on time with a friend that I had convinced needed to see this band with me. Off we went. I had a cocktail before I left the house and thought – Perfect – this is going swimmingly! Then I show up at the show and someone I know hands me a water bottle and says, “Here drink this quick” (It didn’t have water in it – by the way). So I do. Now, I am entering The Palladium and ever more excited!!! Woo-Hoo – The Pixies!!!! Then I think I should grab a beer because I am not leaving the show for anything!!! (more…)
The Great Debate: Medical Marijuana and the City of Los Angeles.
In the press, as of late, there is much talk about closing down Medical Marijuana Dispensaries. So much so that our fearless D.A. Steve Cooley has taken it upon himself to go to war with the dispensaries and the City Council that continue to try to regulate these establishments.
The issues that the City Council continue to struggle with is attempting to make dispensaries maintain a certain number of feet from public schools, parks, libraries and or any other places children could gather. However, a bigger issue seems to be lurking from behind.
That issue is the D.A Steve Cooley, and what I’m now referring to as his lack of understanding when it comes to the constituents that reside in the city of Los Angeles.
I’ll explain. (more…)