THE GIRLS OF SUMMER…
Summer Time Fun – now – Let’s just go over the Rules Again!
It’s been way too long since I’ve written, but so many days in summer – so little time. I’ve kind of been enjoying the days a little more than I should, but still there are things to be noticed, things to be shared. I’ve kind of enjoyed sitting back and watching the summer unfold for once. The only part of summer that I’ve really recognized as per usual, is the eternal interacting between the boys and girls again. Remember the boys of summer? Well the fantastic part of the boys of summer is that it turns out there are some girls of summer as well. I’ve been surrounded by them! It’s awesome. Finally – the battle of the sexes has been defeated and all is fair in love and war once again.
I’ll re-cap the “Boy of Summer” for you. It’s the guy, (or guys, let’s not be shy) that capture your attention for a few months in the summer time. Sometimes it’s love – sometimes it’s not – ok – most times it’s not but it’s always hilariously fun and has endless possibilities. You know – until it doesn’t and then everyone gets to go home to start planning…whatever, Thanksgiving? The point is – every summer should have one. Even if it’s an innocent flirtation that goes nowhere and just stays in your day dreams or your drunken text messages, the point is it’s FUN!
Well, as it would turn out there’s “Girls of Summer” too!? Who would have thought? The reason I know this is because I’ve been around a bunch of these “girls” this summer. The only little difference is that there are more rules for the girls than there are for the boys. Not rules – not like – What’s that, Miss Manners-name? No – No – No. It’s a little different. There’s a playbook that if you want to be a good girl of summer you have to follow. I believe I’ll get crucified for spilling the beans – but I’m going to do it anyway. I have nothing to lose and summer is almost over.
So the way it works is this, the more men you flirt with the more options you have to meet more men. Fixating on one – should not be an option for summer, that’s for the Fall – but not for summer months. Did I mention that shameless flirting is a good thing? Great – point number one is over. The other thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of ladies are heading to the internet to find these boys of summer. That’s perfectly acceptable. Why not – once more – the more men you meet the more options you have. It’s what I call the grown up version of “bar encounters/boys of summer.”
Next up – is getting out of your own environment. You have to – because well, there are more options. It’s like swimming in the same pool every weekend. Same pool – same people. It’s not that you don’t like that pool or those people – but sometimes going to a pool that you’ve never been to before has the better sun!? You got me folks? Making new friends takes a little laughing, a little talking and a couple of beers. Ladies – try it. Trust me it works.
The other thing that’s kind of essential is a good wingman. I’m probably not being PC when I call them a wing man – but I like Top Gun and I’m not PC so I’m going with it. The point is, you need a good spotter and person to cover your ass. The spotter (wingman) makes first contact for you – because let’s face it girls – most times are friends are better at making initial contact and introductions than we are for ourselves. Plus – you’ve got to get the conversation started and two girls to one guy has better odds for conversation. If they can withstand the verbal jousting of two females then you are in good shape for conversation. It’s kind of like the test – if they can’t speak to both of you, they probably have a hard time talking in general…and then that’s a long night!!! Better to know now.
Also when your wingman is covering your ass, she knows when to step in and say, either your lipstick is on your teeth, your skirt is tucked in your underwear, NO – you can’t leave with that guy with the knife in his back-pocket, or my favorite: my car broke down – I need YOU to give ME a ride home RIGHT NOW!!!
Lastly – no attachments can be made immediately. This is a conversation I’ve had repeatedly with a few of my girl-friends. The point is fun. Doing something different, trying something new. Getting out and not settling for the first thing to tell you in a drunken slur – “BUT I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU”. There are places to go, bars to stumble into and many-many new friends to meet.
The time has come ladies for all of us to embrace our inner boy – and I call it boy because boys are so flighty and quick to pick up and move it along – I think some of us have been doing it wrong for way too long. Have a good time this summer. Look for some fun and enjoy it. Before you know it, summer is over and the only thing you are looking forward to is cooking a Turkey or a ToFurkey.
Get your kicks – while the sun is still up and the lights stay on longer!
xox – Ms Amanda Jones
photo originally published here
YOUNG AND RECKLESS in L.A – Stories of a Girl Without Hesitation: ‘The Boys of Summer’
Every summer should have a focus. Some of us surf, go on holiday, catch various concerts rolling through town, engage in exercise as the weather begins to warm – and then there is me and the girls like me: the boy crazy girls that await the prospect of a summer crush – we wait for the boys of summer.
The boys of summer are those men you meet in the most random of encounters. At a gig that your friend is playing, in the park, at the grocery store, at a summer party where everyone is a little sweaty-a little tipsy, they are all around you and everywhere you look. Those boys make every summer something to look forward to. They make the chance meetings at a random bar even more interesting. They turn summer parties into a chance for romance and late night chat session with your girlfriends.
These days I am older and the boys of summer seem a little further away. They are still around, still catching the corner of my eye as they walk past, but now that my boy of summer has turned into the man I live with I don’t get to play like I once did. Now I get to listen with much enjoyment to all of my girlfriends and the boys they meet. They aren’t boys – although many are what I refer to as man/boys, not quite a MAN but still not a boy – they are the Peter Pans with loud guitars…What?! We are around musicians A LOT!
So now I am the faithful observer. Watching the games play out around me. But it seems that even that is changing. A lot of my girlfriends are single – or on their way to becoming single. I think about this often. How is it that my parents generation – or even some of my aunts and cousins all fell into marriages? A nice setting of husband and wife. Yet there are the rest of us – not ready to engage into the plunge of Mr and Mrs. Nor are we of the opinion that this is important anymore. So the question is: How did we come to this? Did the boys of summer change us? Did the chance for fun become a lot more fulfilling than the option of a wedding and a husband?
My girlfriends and I are all technically single. Not every last one of us, but a majority of us. When I say single – I mean not married. Several of us have boyfriends or boys we date semi-exclusively – but none of us (again with the exception of a few) are betrothed or married to another. We talk about men, about people we’ve dated. We trade horror stories of what went wrong and why it didn’t work out but the under the surface theme is none of us are hell bent on becoming a wife. It just isn’t a priority anymore. Of course I’m speaking about the few girls I know really well. I’m sure some of the girls I know do really want the white picket fence, a husband and baby, but if they do it’s not something they’ve ever discussed with me. The thing I find so interesting about this is how it occurred? When did we all sway so far away from happily ever after that we ended up being the girl looking for the boy for the summer?
I think it comes down to a couple of things. Get ready – this is a big shocker – but the times, they just changed. And I think they changed when none of us were looking!? We come from a generation of divorces and failed marriages. So did somewhere way down deep inside we figure out that maybe the whole thing about marriage is outdated? In a time when our state is fighting for the rights of gay people to be able to engage in marriage to whomever they choose – there are a whole other group of us that just don’t care anymore. I write that and I even wonder if it’s true? Do I not care about being Mrs. Rollins any more? I mean, I still love Henry, but now I think to myself, living in sin can’t be all that bad! I know it’s definitely less paperwork. You see, I was married once. I got divorced and boy did it take a long time to fill out all the right paperwork to get it undone. AND it was expensive. No one ever tells you that that wedding is going to cost a ton to get out of.
But there it is. Marriage, just isn’t that important anymore. Ok….Ok….maybe it’s just me. I can easily say that sometimes what I think is not necessarily what anyone else thinks. I prefer to remain a little quirky. I will tell you this – the boys of summer and all the fun that comes along with them are what makes being young and figuring all this out worth it.
For myself and my quirkiness, I do know what means the most to me summer after summer. It’s the Pacific Ocean, hanging out with my family & friends, margaritas, tequila shots and the chance to have a crush on a boy for the summer. My boys of summer may be only in my mind but a little crush never hurt anyone – and it sure makes summer fun.
So ladies get ready – because summer and the boys are ready when you are.
XOX
*A quick note: A boy for the summer does not have to equal a young man – it’s whatever floats your boat ladies. Lori – that’s just for you…muah.