WHEN GERMS LEAD TO CHEMISTRY…
You never know what you’re going to catch on TV on a Saturday morning at 4:45 a.m. Sometimes, luck and insomnia are on your side (especially if you slept most of the previous day away while fighting a sore throat and fever) and you happen to catch a 15 minute Talk Back produced educational segment on Germs sandwiched in between an episode of “The Office” (the original British version) and “The Mighty Boosh.”
Now mind you, this wasn’t your typical 20/20 or Dateline type of expose. No, it was a “quick, don’t let them know what hit them” interactive (“write this down”) episode in the series “Look Around You” spoofing those “made for schools educational science videos” that were forced upon us in elementary school (even then they were outdated).
In reality this write-up should be dedicated to the brilliance of Peter Serafinowicz, creator of these spoofs. However, instead all of those petri dishes brought back memories of my high school Chemistry class, so that shall be the focus of this column entry.
Before getting to the Chemistry, let me tell you what I learned:
-Germs originated in Germany and then spread elsewhere (Not to be confused with The Germs who “originated” in Los Angeles and then spread “elsewhere” )
- If someone consumes a few drops of liquid sewage and coughs in your direction it may take as little as 3 hours for your temperature to go from 98.4 degrees to 107.2 degrees. (I had a fever. Does hot chocolate from the McCafe count as liquid sewage? Because that’s all I felt like consuming.)
- I could easily get sick by kissing a dog or a tramp or by using a friend’s recorder (It’s safe to say I didn’t get sick by doing any of these).
Now on to the Chemistry…
When we last left off with this particular Chemistry class it had gotten me into trouble with an ex-boyfriend. Science and I have never really gotten along. I appreciate it and actually know some scientists (yes, even of the rocket variety), chemists, and NASA engineers, but the scientific route has never been for me. Really, it’s all my fault. Science has repeatedly unsuccessfully tried to sweep me off my feet. I’ll blame it on timing as every time it’s tried to woo me, I’ve usually been in a relationship with History or English. (more…)
Eric’s Favorite Pieces: Prokofiev’s Lieutenant Kije Suite
If movies and literature are any indication, high school is one of the easiest times in a person’s life. Friends are made, everyone looks great all the time, parties involving making out occur with staggering regularity, and occasional vampire attacks keep everyone cheerfully on their toes. This was, it may surprise you to know, not the case at all for me. I was confused! I looked terrible all the time! Girls were far more frightening than vampires (the vampires at my high school were usually stoned, and didn’t pose much of a threat)! I had crippled myself socially by electing to play viola in the school orchestra (who would’ve thought membership in the high school orchestra didn’t come with a lifetime membership in the Playboy Mansion Free Handjob Club and the adoration of all who dared look upon me?)! Life was baffling and tumultuous!
Meanwhile, almost a century earlier, Sergei Prokofiev had written his first opera when he was frigging nine years old. Good thing one of us had things figured out, because as it turned out, Prokofiev helped me through all the tumultuity and bebafflement—possibly without even knowing he was doing it! In fact, I used to listen to the entirety of Abbey Road every morning (while eating crumpets, wondering what it was like to be all cultured and British) and fell asleep listening to Prokofiev’s suite from Lieutenant Kije. (more…)
We’ll Always Have Chemistry
“We’ll always have Chemistry“…a simple and harmless statement.
This was the closing line to a message that a guy friend named “Seth” (name has been changed) in high school had penned to me in one of my high school yearbooks. I think I had at least one class with this guy each year. Chemistry was one of them.
See? Nothing to that statement.
It’s always interesting to see how differently not only guys and girls but different types of people altogether process information and what comes out as a result.
A few weekends ago I went to a wedding with an ex-boyfriend, and so I don’t have to call him “the ex” let’s use his middle name, Andrew. I will rarely if ever, disclose much about my personal life and relationships as I like my privacy and it’s not everyone’s business. Writing about places I go, things I’m involved in, or past and current adventures with friends is fine but the rest is pretty much off limits.
However, since this relationship is in the past, the relationship ended amicably, and he is ok with this I’ll share since I think people can relate
After deciding that we’d go together to this wedding, (most of the people who were to be at this wedding were previously mutual friends) I reluctantly agreed to drive there together as well. We spent most of the drive to the wedding location filling each other in on what we’re currently up to, about who we still talk to, and laughing at the people who thought we were back together just because we were going to this wedding together. Although, I don’t keep my ex-boyfriends around in my daily life we are all still on good terms. So if I run into any of them ever (which never happens) it’s fine, I don’t date jerks. As with any old friend, the conversation turned reminiscent.
When we were together, Andrew had a friend who was in a relationship with a super jealous girl where they seemed to be arguing or about to start arguing anytime we saw them. We had to be around this a lot as my then boyfriend and his friend were involved in a project together and this situation was a constant issue for everyone involved. Everyone was sick of it. This girl seemed to be convinced that every girl was after her boyfriend, which was really NOT the case. I’m sure you know the type.
Anyhow, I had inquired about his friend and if he still talked to him and talking about them made us go back to us and the subject of fighting/arguing. We actually rarely argued, so it took us a minute or two to actually remember our own biggest fight. We both started laughing once we remembered it at almost the same time. It was that simple statement, “We’ll always have Chemistry,” that caused the argument by being so hugely misconstrued.
There are numerous other messages in the yearbook, that a boyfriend might’ve or should’ve been more concerned with, yet he was fixated on that one. He asked who Seth was, and I responded by saying something like “Oh he was this guy I had a bunch of classes with…totally super smart sweet guy,” and continued on to say, “Junior year we had a math class together, and he made this comic book of me and three other girls [I think I still have this at my parent's home somewhere with all of the yearbooks and old photos] that were in the same math groups all of the time. It was so funny [and it was funny!].” (more…)